HOW TO BE A BAD BITCH WHEN YOU HAVE ANXIETY

Hello darlings,

Today I want to talk about how to be successful when you have crippling anxiety! Oh the joys of mental health. These are a few tips that help me be my best self even with anxiety (yes it is possible). I hope you find them useful!

1) Don’t romanticize anxiety; take it for what it is. 

This is probably the hardest point to fully grasp, but I truly believe it is the most important. I have had anxiety for many years, and what I have witnessed from others who have anxiety is that they treat it as a crippling, torturous ailment that prevents them from living life. As mental health has become more prominent in the online media space, there seems to be a lot of romanticizing of what anxiety is and how it affects people. I do not only mean this in the sense that anxiety is seen as the “trendy” thing to proclaim, or that it is seen as “so tumblr”, I also mean that anxiety is also played out to be very dramatic and grandiose, that you should be treated like a delicate snowflake if you have anxiety.

Personally, I disagree with this rhetoric. Having anxiety is uncomfortable. It is unpleasant. However, it is not something that should be given such power over everyday life. It is not something that should be held on a pedestal and Oo’d and Ah’d at. From personal experience, the more power you give to anxiety, by treating it as a unique and strange phenomena, the more anxiety you will experience day to day. The opposite is also true, when I distanced myself from everything the internet tells me anxiety is, from all the dramatic and “trendiness” of it, and let my anxiety be what it is  (a disorder) my anxiety greatly improved because I did not give it that power over me. Of course this is not to say that you should abandon medication and other mechanisms of dealing with anxiety (especially if you have severe anxiety), however, it does help a lot. Once you take away the power, you will no longer be in the way of your own success and can push through things you usually dismissed because you are scared of getting anxiety doing them. This point may seem a bit harsh and insensitive to some, but I do hope you understand the gist of what I am saying, even if my delivery is not spot on.

2) Take baby steps-but keep walking.

Equally as important as the first point is to not surrender to anxiety- KEEP GOING! I think it is safe to say that anyone who has had anxiety has wanted to give up trying to ‘fix it’ at one point or another. It is a tricky thing to handle and it is easy to get frustrated, especially when you feel like you’re the only one going through it. It’s okay to fall sometimes, as long as you pick yourself back up. Depending on the type of anxiety you have, there will be certain things you avoid doing, places you avoid going, etc because they may trigger your anxiety. As much as you don’t want to hear it, these things that you are afraid of doing are big keys in alleviating your anxiety.

So, in order to help yourself, I think it is important to take baby steps toward tackling these bigger things you are afraid of. For instance, if you get anxiety going to the bank and have had a panic attack there before, your anxiety would tell you to avoid going to banks at all costs. To deal with this fear, I suggest taking baby steps towards it ,ex: taking a road back home that has a bank on it, instead of your usual route. You could start doing this maybe just twice a week. Then after that, you could try tagging along with a friend who needs to do something at the bank, etc. These baby steps may seem silly and over the top, but trust me, they really work. You have to push yourself a little bit each time to see some progress. Don’t pay attention to how long it takes, this isn’t a race. Take your time, don’t leap, but do take small baby steps towards your goals. This is a major factor in being successful when you have anxiety; pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, in incremental small ways.

3) Don’t compare yourself to others.

This is probably a given, but comparison really is a terrible thing to do to your psyche if you have anxiety. If you are in any transitional period in your life (just out of high school,college,etc) , it is human nature to want to compare and contrast your life to your peers and rank yourself in comparison. This can SOMETIMES be helpful to a specific few people, however, for those with anxiety, it can cause more stress and worry than good. It can hinder success and cause you to want to give up whatever it is you’re doing because of fear of failure or ‘not being good enough‘. My advice to you is to try your hardest to focus on yourself and your mental health, and doing what you can in your own time to move forward and success in a way that won’t take you back 10 steps, because you are competing with something/someone else.

4)Understand yourself, and what kind of success you want for your life.

Not everyone in the world dreams of being an extroverted, sociable billionaire. Not everyone dreams of being a stay at home wife and mother of four. Whatever YOUR definition of success is, you should make it very clear to yourself. Beyond that, you should make it APPLICABLE to yourself. What I mean by this is that not only should you identify what ‘ideal’level of success you would like, but you also need to understand yourself as a person (anxiety included) and how you can mold that success to fit that person. If you have severe social anxiety , are introverted and enjoy spending time online, then mold a ‘success ideal’ that fits that parameter. This is not to say that you should not try to deal with your social anxiety and try to be more extroverted, rather this is a more sustainable approach to success curated for you. Having anxiety can sometimes feel like the door of success is slammed shut in your face because you won’t have THAT type of success. I find it’s best to create your own type of success, you and Sally can both reach point A if you take completely separate roads from each other. Your journey is not meant to be the same as other people, there is no set formula for success, so understand yourself, accept yourself, and mold your own version of success.


 

I hope these tips show you that having anxiety is a hurdle in life, but it shouldn’t stop you from living it to the fullest.

Please feel free to share any other tips you have in the comments below!

Tuti xx

 

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40 Comments Add yours

  1. Thank you for sharing these! It is something I am still working on but understanding myself and not comparing myself to others has helped me a lot.

    Like

  2. These were really great tips!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Kate Brewer says:

    Great tips. I’m a high schooler struggling to keep my grip on my anxiety, and sometimes it’s hard to lose track of the important stuff. Lovely post xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. tutistales says:

      Thanks Kate,hope you found it helpful x

      Like

  4. starting a blog may have been the best decision I made this year. Aside from the constant outlet for creativity and just general feelings I keep on stumbling upon other blogs that just keep on proving to me that I am not alone. I have never felt more alone in my anxiety then in these past few months and reading your words was like getting a big strong hug from someone who gets it.
    your words have an honesty and simplicity to them which was exactly what I needed right now.
    Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. tutistales says:

      Thanks so much x

      Like

  5. DotdotdotDASHDASHDASH says:

    Amen Sister! Excellent post! x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tutistales says:

      Thank you!! 🤗

      Like

  6. A very illuminating post. Thankyou. I suffer anxiety too. Let’s kill it with fire!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. tutistales says:

      Thanks for reading!

      Like

  7. Great tips. Keep going is definitely the best advice when it comes to anxiety. Never letting it stop you is KEY! Keep thriving ❤

    Like

  8. littermature says:

    Exposure is key! Thank you for your words… and that title!!! 🙂

    Like

  9. takemootoo says:

    I love the part about being your own type of successful because it takes a long time to come to grips on what you want and striving for that. I think with anxiety you begin to deal with other people’s opinions and lose sight of yourself, and in this post it truly shows that you should focus on yourself. I love it.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Gracing Girl says:

    I’ve just started blogging about my anxiety and doing a brave thing each day to overcome its effects. This was a great read!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I like this thank you for sharing your beautiful insights:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tutistales says:

      Thank you for reading! x

      Like

  12. You’re so right..! Stop romatizing about anxiety.. Its a mental disorder for God’s sake… And yes it’s a hurdle but not the end of the story. You go girl..!! 🙌
    Even i have anxiety and I know exactly how it feels, what helps me most of the time is repeating ‘one more round’ to myself everytime my anxiety tries to break me down. It helps in continuing with my work. It is a very short term method… But it’s worth a try.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. tutistales says:

      Thank you for sharing! And I’m glad you found this post relatable x 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  13. hayleighburnett says:

    What a great post ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  14. fabsensei says:

    Loved this post and agreed with you in everything. We just have to keep on fighting 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. tutistales says:

      Thank you so much! x

      Like

  15. megjcrane says:

    I have an anxiety disorder. A couple of weeks ago during a super high anxiety day, I just realized that no matter how many cognitive behavioural therapy techniques I master and how often I visit a therapist, I’m always going to have anxiety. Just accepting that and not trying to fight it, super similar to what you’re talking about in the first point, helped me relax so much. Great post with great tips. Thanks! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. tutistales says:

      I’m sorry you’re having a hard time hun! I hope things look up for you and I’m glad this post helped you a bit x

      Liked by 1 person

  16. womenandbeautyblogger says:

    I have anxiety… 🙁 Nice post.. helpful
    🙂 ❤ Btw please check out my blog I have started blogging recently 🙃

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Great tips! I just wrote about Selective Mutism which is a type of Anxiety Disorder! I hope my daughter can be overcome her anxiety one day!
    http://www.aginggracefullywithme.wordpress.com

    Like

  18. amyjae says:

    I love this! Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tutistales says:

      Thank you doll! x

      Like

  19. I suffer with severe anxiety as well and lately it hasn’t been as good as how I maintained it before, thank you for this post!! It’s very good to feel relatable with mental issues

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tutistales says:

      I’m glad it was helpful to you. Thanks for reading! x

      Liked by 1 person

  20. New Lune says:

    Love this post! x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tutistales says:

      Thanks lovely!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Love this post!! I struggle with this everyday it’s nice to have some encouragement 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tutistales says:

      Thanks for reading Genney! Glad you like it x 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Yasss. Stay strong sweetie. Love the post xo

    Liked by 1 person

  23. 3C Style says:

    Stay strong girl! Nice post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tutistales says:

      Thanks doll! x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 3C Style says:

        Anytime! Have a great monday.

        Liked by 1 person

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